Beautiful, The Mess We Are
54 Songs to Comfort a Troubled Heart

I almost didn’t post this.

Oh, who am I kidding? I almost didn’t even write this post.

I’m not really sure why, but this one was a hard one to work on. I had all kinds of ideas for things to write about. But I just couldn’t. (Fortunately, I do still have them listed!) 

If you remember, I was on a bit of a high, having just achieved a major goal I’d set for myself. And it was approaching the end of the school year … spring … a time of year I’ve always loved. 

Although I don’t work directly in education any longer, the company I work for does a considerable amount of work with school districts, and many of my close friends are teachers. The end of the school year just feels different, and I guess you could say that the excitement (and relief!) of summer break was almost palpable. I was excited to be planning a trip to my sister’s condo in Miramar Beach near Destin, Florida … with my bestie, no less! We had already talked about possible playlists I could compose for that trip: Songs About Summer, Songs About Beaches, Songs About Road Trips … you get the idea.

But something wasn’t right.

Not just for me, either. Sure, I had my own stuff I was dealing with — disappointments, hurts, and concerns that were on my mind. But it seemed that many of my family members and friends were hurting, too.

As I often do, I turned to music for comfort. The funny thing was, I wasn’t sure if I was trying to find songs to comfort me or to comfort the people I care about.

Of course, now I know the answer: Both.

At my church, our pastor had just started a sermon series called “A Conversation with Jesus.” (Yes, there will be many mentions of the Savior throughout this post … if not in my prose, in the songs.) The series is based on the text from the New Testament Book of John, chapter 14. In this passage, Jesus knows he’ll soon be crucified, and he tells his disciples that he’s about to leave for a while. The first verse of chapter 14 begins with this: “Let not your hearts be troubled.”

Our pastor — a lover of words and a former professor of Greek — shared in the opening sermon of the series that the Greek word for “troubled” in that verse essentially means the same as “stirred up” or “agitated.” In fact, as I was building my playlist for this post, “Let Not Your Hearts Be Troubled” was the working title for it in my Spotify library.

Because it described exactly how I was feeling … stirred up and agitated.

In my defense, I think there were plenty of reasons. I won’t even go into great detail, simply because a lot of these are not my stories to tell. But here are just a few of the things that were on my mind … almost perpetually, it seemed:

• an extended family member unexpectedly losing a parent;
• a friend waiting in agony for what seemed to her like forever to lose a parent (which also stirred up memories of losing one of my own parents);
• disagreements and/or feelings of resentment among siblings following the loss of a parent;
• a friend (multiple friends, actually) struggling with numerous frustrating and stressful situations at work;
• me, dealing with my own frustrating and stressful situations at work;
• a friend battling demons that are so difficult to defeat;
• a family worried about their loved one who’s battling demons that are so difficult to defeat;
• the heartbreak of realizing that a relationship was more important to one party than the other;
• rejection;
• feeling like you’re “never enough”;
• unexpected health issues and worries about medical tests;
• “what ifs” about the results of medical tests;
• the loss of a beloved pet;
• the loss of two beloved pets;
• those people you hear from only when they want something;
• the (sometimes misplaced or even inaccurate) belief that some people seem to be able to focus on what they need and never seem to consider what other people might need.
• the disappointment of realizing that something you were told was going to happen never actually will happen;
• the ache of the loss of things once shared with someone that you no longer have in common; and,
• anxiety about the future.

I could probably keep going, but I’m fairly sure you get what I’m saying.

As I said, some of these things affected me personally, and some — even most — didn’t affect me but burdened the people I care about. Either way, they weighed on my heart. I was stirred up and agitated. Unsure and anxious. Maybe even a little hurt and disappointed about some things. Wanting to help the people I care about, but feeling helpless. 

And as we tend to avoid things we don’t enjoy, I just couldn’t seem to write this post.

I’ve been told I’m too sensitive. Maybe that’s true. As I’ve aged, I’ve decided that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it can make for some discomfort. And one way I deal with discomfort is to listen to music.

So time and time again, I went back to the music. And the more songs I listened to, the more songs I found that comforted me. That seems like a good thing, yes?

Well, yes and no. While it made me feel better, it also made it even more challenging to pare down the soundtrack. 

I have included one extraordinarily long playlist in a post … the one in my post about persevering to achieve my goal. I believed it was fitting because the process itself was extraordinarily long. But generally, I prefer to keep them at “soundtrack length,” or about 10-20 (ish) songs.

But the more songs I listened to, the more daunting the task became … and probably another reason I just couldn’t make myself finish. 

But you know what I finally did?

I let myself off the hook.

If you know me at all, you know I’m not prone to doing that. But as I listened to all these different songs that evoked all these different feelings, I remembered a song — I’ll point it out later in the post — that reminded me that we can’t always make sense of what life offers up … that life is messy. 

But it can still be beautiful … even when it’s messy.

For me, that’s because, in my brokenness, it sometimes takes me a (long) while to remember to go to my source of hope, the Savior. But when I do, even if the problem isn’t “fixed” immediately, it changes how I look at things.

You may have another source of hope, so maybe you won’t relate to some of the songs I’ve included in this soundtrack. But for me, this soundtrack is a perfect illustration of life.

And as I do in life, I’ll comment on some songs … especially if they’ve been important in my personal soundtrack. On others, I’ll keep my comments to myself. Sometimes, I’ll share my favorite lyrics. Sometimes, I’ll link to the full album; sometimes, I won’t. Sometimes, I’ll share a link to a video, and sometimes, I’ll share nothing.

Regardless, I hope you’ll find at least one song that you can relate to … that gives you comfort … that gives you hope.

---

“Already There” by Casting Crowns
Album: Come To The Well (2011)

---

“Let It Start With Me” by No Other Name  
Album: The Other Side (2011)

---

“Shelter” by Lone Justice  
Album: Shelter (1986)

I don’t recall whether or not this song was all that popular, but it’s another of my all-time favorite songs. It’s not even a song that holds a special place in my own personal soundtrack, other than the fact that I love it, and of course, I’d love to provide shelter — both literal and metaphorical — if someone I cared about were in need.

---

“Give Me Your Eyes” by Brandon Heath 
Album: What If We (2008)

I mentioned the sermon series at my church, “A Conversation with Jesus.” In one of those sermons, the speaker made this comment: “We often throw stones at those who are in heartbreak because we don’t take a minute to breathe the air that they breathe.”

It reminded me of these lyrics:

Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missin’
Give me Your love for humanity

Give me Your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see

Brandon Heath, “Give Me Your Eyes”

Amen.

---

“Everybody Hurts” by Avril Lavigne 
Album: Goodbye Lullaby (Expanded Edition) (2011)

---

“Change – 2015 Remaster” by Tracy Chapman  
Album: Greatest Hits (2015)

Always one of my favorite songwriters, Tracy Chapman is enjoying a bit of a resurgence, I guess you could say, thanks to Luke Combs’ cover of her 1988 breakout hit, “Fast Car.” As much as I enjoyed “Fast Car” back in the day, I loved a couple of songs on that same debut album — “Baby Can I Hold You” and this song even more.

We often know what we need to change in our lives. But in our brokenness, we don’t want to … or even worse, no matter how much we want to, we don’t seem to be able to. I know this from personal experience, and I’ve seen it with others. I guess that’s why these lyrics speak to me:

How bad how good does it need to get?
How many losses how much regret?
What chain reaction
What cause and effect
Makes you turn around
Makes you try to explain
Makes you forgive and forget
Makes you change

Tracy Chapman, “Change”

---

“Chase Me Down (feat. RaeLynn)” by Chris Tomlin, RaeLynn
Album: Chris Tomlin & Friends (2020)

Why do I do things I hate?
Why do I say things that I shouldn’t say?
When I know better, yeah
I could love better

Some days I take it too far
Sometimes the world gets the best of my heart
I know who I am (I know who I am)
‘Til I forget just who I am

When I find myself again
Standing knee-deep in my sin

You chase me down
When I don’t deserve it
You show me love, You don’t make me earn it
I make a mess, and I just start running
Hoping that You won’t know

Oh, when I’m lost
And I’m low in a place that I think You won’t go
You chase me down
You chase me down

Chris Tomlin, RaeLynn, “You Chase Me Down”

---

“Worn” by Tenth Avenue North  
Album: The Struggle (2012)

---

“Jesus, Strong and Kind” by CityAlight, Colin Buchanan  (2019)

Jesus said that if I thirst
I should come to Him
No one else can satisfy
I should come to Him

Jesus said, if I am weak
I should come to Him
No one else can be my strength
I should come to Him

For the Lord is good and faithful
He will keep us day and night
We can always run to Jesus
Jesus, strong and kind

CityAlight, Colin Buchanan, “Jesus, Strong and Kind”

---

“Better Than A Hallelujah” by Amy Grant  
Album: Somewhere Down The Road (2010)

Amy Grant, the artist who recorded the song, said this about it: “The best thing about this song, in my experience, is that It flies right in the face of all of our performance insecurity.” 

The best thing about this song, in my experience, is that It flies right in the face of all of our performance insecurity.

Amy Grant

And in this video, Amy mentions many of the things I’ve been thinking about.

This video appeared on YouTube about 13 years ago, but it’s almost like Amy can read my mind today.

That’s why the lyrics in the chorus of this song inspired the title of this post:

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

---

“Carry Me” by Josh Wilson 
Album: Carry Me (2013)

---

“Don’t Lose Heart” by Steven Curtis Chapman 
Album: Still (2022)

---

“Find Out Who Your Friends Are” by Tracy Lawrence, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney  
Album: For the Love (2007)

---

“Hands And Feet” by Audio Adrenaline  
Album: Underdog (1999)

---

“Break On Me” by Keith Urban  
Album: Ripcord (2016)

---

“At Your Side” by The Corrs  
Album: In Blue (2000)

---

“Stand By You” by Rachel Platten  
Album: Wildfire (2016)

---

“Carry You” by Ruelle, Fleurie 
Album: Carry You (2018)

---

“Cry Out To Jesus” by Third Day  
Album: Wherever You Are (2005)

---

“You Matter To Me (feat. Jason Mraz)” by Sara Bareilles, Jason Mraz  
Album: What’s Inside: Songs from Waitress (2015)

I absolutely love musicals, and Waitress is one of my favorites. I’ve never seen it in person (can you say, “Bucket List”?!), but I came across a bootleg recording of it on YouTube one evening, and I watched the whole thing. Now I’m kicking myself for not saving the link.

This is one of my favorite songs from the musical, but I actually prefer this version over the one on the soundtrack. The blend of Sara Bareilles’ and Jason Mraz’s voices is sublime!

---

“Be Kind to Yourself” by Andrew Peterson
Album: The Burning Edge of Dawn (2015)

---

“Here I Am – from the Dumplin’ Original Motion Picture Soundtrack” by Dolly Parton, Sia
Album: Dumplin’ Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (2018)

---

“Hold On” by Katy Nichole 
Album: Jesus Changed My Life (2023)

---

“Won’t Let Me Go” by Sanctus Real 
Album: Won’t Let Me Go (2022)

---

“Bridge Over Troubled Water” by JJ Heller  
Album: I Dream of You, Volume II (2018)

---

“Sparrows” by Cory Asbury  
Album: To Love a Fool (2020)

---

“No Matter Where You Are” by Us The Duo  
Album: No Matter Where You Are (2014)

---

“I Am Not Alone – Radio Version” by Kari Jobe
I Am Not Alone (Radio Version) (2015)

---

“The Reason For The World” by Matthew West  
Album: The Story Of Your Life (2010)

---

“Courage Is…” by The Strange Familiar 
Album: This Is Gravity (2008)

---

“I’ll Stand by You” by Pretenders  
Album: Last of the Independents (1994)

---

“Thank God I Do” by Lauren Daigle 
Album: Lauren Daigle (2023)

---

“Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns 
Album: Thrive (2014)

---

“Umbrella” by Rihanna, JAY-Z  
Album: Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded (2008)

---

“I Will Wait for You (Psalm 130) [Live]” by Shane & Shane 
Album: Shane & Shane: Hymns Live (2019)

---

“Hands” by Jewel  
Album: Spirit (1998)

---

“Fix You” by Coldplay  
Album: X&Y (2005)

---

“Where The Light Is” by Dan Bremnes 
Album: Where The Light Is (2015)

---

“Shoulders” by for KING & COUNTRY  
Album: RUN WILD. LIVE FREE. LOVE STRONG. (Deluxe Anniversary Edition) (2015)

---

“I Will Carry You” by Ellie Holcomb 
Album: Canyon (2021)

---

“You’ve Got a Friend” by Carole King 
Album: Tapestry (1971)

---

“Oh My Soul” by Casting Crowns 
Album: The Very Next Thing (2016)

---

“Hurricane” by Natalie Grant
Album: Hurricane (2013)

---

“Who You Are To Me (feat. Lady A)” by Chris Tomlin, Lady A 
Album: Chris Tomlin & Friends (2020)

---

“Dream Big” by Ryan Shupe & The Rubberband 
Album: Dream Big (2005)

---

“You Say” by Lauren Daigle 
Album: Look Up Child (2018)

---

“He Will Hold Me Fast” by Selah  
Album: Firm Foundation (2019)

---

“Compass” by Lady A  
Album: Golden (Deluxe Edition) (2013)

---

“Still” by Steven Curtis Chapman  
Album: Still (2022)

---

“Way Maker – Single Version” by Leeland  
Album: Way Maker (2020)

---

“Biggest Fan” by In Paradise  
Album: Biggest Fan (2022)

---

“The Best Is Yet to Come (feat. Clay Finnesand)” by North Point Worship, Clay Finnesand  
Album: Abundantly More (2019)

---

“No Day But Today – Live from Soundstage” by Idina Menzel  
Album: Idina Menzel (2010)

I’ve mentioned my love for musicals, and RENT is one of my all-time favorites. I actually saw it on Broadway during one of my all-time favorite vacations all the way back in 1998. It was a whirlwind of a trip — only a long weekend of about three days total — but it’s one I’ll remember forever. 

My bestie and I traveled to New York on a Thursday night one December weekend before Christmas. That evening, we met my mother and stepfather for dinner at an amazing restaurant I wouldn’t have been able to afford at the time. Over the next couple of days, we saw four shows, including the famous Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular, Chicago, Miss Saigon, and RENT. We walked everywhere, my feet killed me, and I had to buy new shoes. We stayed in a hotel room so tiny that there were twin beds, and I practically had to crawl over my friend’s bed to get to the bathroom.

But I was in heaven!

Because of its subject matter — AIDS, drug use, homosexuality — many wouldn’t call RENT a very “Christian” show to see. In fact, I was a relatively new believer at the time, and I was attending a very conservative church. Doesn’t sound like your typical audience member for the show, huh? 

But what RENT did was remind me that people who are engaged in things one’s church might not condone are still people who have many of the same fears, doubts, and needs that I — and pretty much all other Christians — do. (As I type this, I’m reminded of the quote from the sermon I shared earlier in this post about “throwing stones.”)

Oh … and Jesus loves them!

Idina Menzel was in the original cast of the RENT, and she included “No Day But Today,” the finale from the show, on one of her solo albums. Here are a few of the lyrics:

There’s only us, there’s only this
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss
No other path, no other way
No day but today

There’s only us, only tonight
We must let go to know what’s right
No other road, No other way
No day but today

I can’t control my destiny
I trust my soul, my only goal
Is just to be

There’s only now, there’s only here
Give in to love or live in fear
No other path, No other way
No day but today

“No Day But Today” from the RENT finale

This clip from the RENT finale doesn’t feature Idina Menzel; it’s from a later cast. (Other fans of musicals might recognize Renée Elise Goldsberry from Hamilton, though!) But I believe you can feel the hope in the performance of the song:

I can’t say that I agree with all the lyrics; as a follower of Christ, I do believe there’s another path and another way, but I can definitely get on board the idea of focusing on today and not worrying about the past or the future. In fact, it actually reminds me of something one of my pastors used to pray when struggling or worrying about something: “Lord, just for today, would you help me [whatever].”

And what good does it do us to live in regret?

It just seemed fitting to include it on this soundtrack.

---

“Always” by Kristian Stanfill
Album: Mountains Move (2011)

Even after weeks of listening to songs for this post, I didn’t have this one on my list. But one Sunday, I sang with the worship team at my church, and although it didn’t affect me the same way when we rehearsed, when we sang it during the service, I became so emotional and overwhelmed that I almost couldn’t sing.

My foes are many, they rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Kristian Stanfill, “Always”

Always.

Amen.

---

And as always, here’s the complete playlist:

Open in Spotify