Ain't It Crazy What a Song Can Do?
Soundtrack 1, Side B

Welcome to the B-side.

Well, I’ve already been unable to achieve my goal of writing a post a week. That’s actually only partially true, as I’ve been working on this post for well over a week. I’ll tell you now that it’s another long one, so if you plan to read, make sure you have some time. I don’t expect future posts to be as long … I can tell I’m working through a lot of emotions and feelings as I introduce myself.

But like I said in my first couple of posts, that’s exactly why I started this blog.

If you stumbled across this post and are wondering what the heck I’m talking about, I recommend that you start from the very beginning (after all, as Maria says, it’s a very good place to start) and read my introductory post and the one that followed.

By the way, the Maria comment refers to another song — no, another entire album — that I could’ve featured on that first soundtrack. It refers to “Do-Re-Mi” from The Sound of Music, a movie that came out the year I was born and that I watch almost every time it’s on. I remember seeing it for the first time when I was quite young — possibly as young as six or seven — at the 25th Street Theater in my hometown of Waco, Texas. Its soundtrack album was on repeat in my childhood home.

TL;DR? What I hope to do with The Songbird Soundtrack is to share playlists of songs that illustrate (yeah, I realize that’s kind of a mixed metaphor, but you understand) how integral music is to our lives … tunes that compose the soundtracks of our lives. My first official playlist features 25 songs that specifically mention music or something related to music, like singing or a song. My first  soundtrack also refers to the fact that I grew up listening to media that had two sides, like albums or cassette tapes, so I divided that first playlist into two “sides.”

[And if you’re one of those people who doesn’t forget a thing you read, you’re probably wondering why I just spoke of featuring 25 songs when I originally mentioned that the first soundtrack included 24 songs. Yes, I added a song this week. You can also read about my struggles with overthinking in those first two posts.]

When you read the term “B-side,” you might surmise that I find these songs less important than those in the previous post. After all, that’s what the term commonly means:

The B-side (or “flip-side”) is a secondary recording that typically receives less attention, although some B-sides have been as successful as, or more so than, their A-sides.

Wikipedia

I love the last part of that definition: “… some B-sides have been as successful as, or more so than, their A-sides.” Queen’s anthem “We Will Rock You,” The Rolling Stones hit “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” and The Righteous Brothers ballad “Unchained Melody” were all B-Sides. I could compile at least one full B-Side soundtrack … don’t be surprised if do just that someday.

I love that definition of “B-Side” because, on my own personal soundtrack, the songs on the B-Side represent the trajectory of my life for very much the same reason. The first few songs on my B-Side represent not only the approximate chronological halfway point of my life, but they also represent a fundamental change that has informed my life ever since. And the songs that follow? I’ll tell you about them as I go, but the themes they express match my own outlook on life as I’ve aged. My life, in general, has been more successful as my perspective has changed, and I’ll say that as I’ve listened to the soundtracks I’ve compiled, I find myself going back to this one more and more.

Sing A Little Louder

“Symphony” by Josh Wilson
Album: Carry Me (2013)

I told you in my very first post that I was a music major. I knew all about symphonies and instruments and musical terms, so you might believe that a song named “Symphony” would be a fitting tribute to something that’s a passion of mine, and you’d be correct.

But maybe not for the reason you think.

You’ve probably figured out by the variety of musical references and the memories I’ve already shared that I’m no spring chicken … I’m in my late 50s as I begin this blog.

As I listen to Josh Wilson’s “Symphony,” I recall a time over half my lifetime ago when I began to look at symphonies in a way I’d never thought of them before.

In 1991, I became a Christian.

That fundamental change I mentioned a few paragraphs ago? Although Josh Wilson didn’t release “Symphony” until 10+ years later, its lyrics described that change with a new understanding of music. Those lyrics also reflected how that new understanding affected just some of what I aspired to do:

And now every breath we breathe is a melody
In the love song to the God who made
Every soul to see, every life to bring out
The beauty in this world.
So come on with all your heart,
Lift your voice and play your part
In this symphony.

Josh Wilson, “Symphony”

Am I always successful in this mission? Of course not. That’s why I need the Lord, after all. I’m sure my failed efforts since that monumental decision will serve as excellent fodder for future soundtracks, too. But to me, this was the perfect song to represent the beginning of the “B-Side” of my life. 

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“Raise A Hallelujah” by Bethel Music, Jonathan & Melissa Helser
Album: Victory (Live) (2019)

After the previous paragraph, I probably don’t need to tell you why I included this song on this playlist. I just love it.

I raise a hallelujah
In the presence of my enemies
I raise a hallelujah
Louder than the unbelief

I raise a hallelujah
My weapon is a melody
I raise a hallelujah
Heaven comes to fight for me

I’m gonna sing in the middle of the storm
Louder and louder, you’re gonna hear my praises roar
Up from the ashes hope will arise
Death is defeated, the King is alive

I raise a hallelujah
With everything inside of me
I raise a hallelujah
I will watch the darkness flee

I raise a hallelujah
In the middle of the mystery
I raise a hallelujah
Fear, you lost your hold on me

I’m gonna sing in the middle of the storm
Louder and louder, you’re gonna hear my praises roar
Up from the ashes hope will arise
Death is defeated, the King is alive

Sing a little louder

Bethel Music, Jonathan & Melissa Helser, “Raise a Hallelujah”

Amen.

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“Sing Over Me” by Bethany Dillon and Nichole Nordeman
Album: Sing Over Me: Worship Songs and Lullabies (2006)

One of the criticisms of Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) — and there are many, but I won’t get into that … not in this soundtrack, at least — is that the lyrics are too repetitive. I might argue that songwriters can employ repetition to emphasize a point. (Maybe someday, I’ll tell you how I agonized over introducing the song “One Thing Remains” into my church’s worship sets because of all the repetition, both musically and lyrically.) And I’ve read numerous critiques of songs that have called CCM too worldly for a variety of reasons that I could probably outline in another post.

That’s why I prefer worship songs that include scripture as the lyrics.

“Sing Over Me” does just that. The lyrics come straight out of scripture … Zephaniah 3:17, to be exact:

The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.

(New International Version)

I’ve been familiar with this verse for years, and I’ve sung songs about it. One of the most well-known songs based on this scripture is “Mighty to Save,” which has been recorded by several artists, including Laura Story. I read an interview with Laura Story on Crosswalk.com in which she shared her thoughts about the verse and the song:

Each time I sing the song, God brings to mind new implications of this verse. And each time, I get a little lump in my throat as I consider that by His might, God saved me. It’s hard to fathom why a God who is able to move mountains would choose to focus His strength on redeeming the very souls who have so deeply offended Him. But this is the gospel. Though we have done nothing to merit His favor, God, full of mercy and grace, sent His only son, Jesus, to pay the debt we could never pay. He is truly mighty to save.

Laura Story

“He is truly mighty to save.” That God would send his son to pay our debt is in itself unfathomable, indeed.

But you know what else is unfathomable to me? 

The last part of the verse … that says the Lord will rejoice over me with singing.

Over me? Seriously? Who does that?

Our God does.

Although I’ve known this verse for years, only recently did that last part of the verse stand out to me. Maybe that’s why I can’t get enough of this song. 

Sing of Your unending faithfulness
That knows no doubt or fear
In the face of all that I don’t know yet
Remind me of who You are

Sing over me
Draw me close to rest in Your peace
Sing over me, oh, sing

You are mighty, You will save
Rejoice over me with singing
You will quiet by Your love
Glory over me with singing

Bethany Dillon and Nichole Nordeman, “Sing Over Me”

Truly amazing.

I realize some of you may not fancy CCM or even share my belief, so if that’s the case, not to worry; although I could easily compose more than one playlist of CCM favorites, I love all kinds of music, so we’re going to shift the proverbial gears with the next few selections.

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“Sing Your Life” by Morrissey
Album: ¡The Best Of! (2019)

I am more familiar with Morrissey as the lead singer of The Smiths, a staple of some of those New Wave clubs I used to hang out in “back in the day.” [Coincidentally, the song many consider The Smiths’ best-known single from that era, “How Soon is Now?” is also a B-Side.}

With lyrics called “characterised by their usage of black humour, self-deprecation, and the pop vernacular,” Morrissey is known for “singing his life,” or writing songs about issues that are important to him, and he encourages listeners to do the same:

Sing your life
Any fool can think of words that rhyme
Many others do
Why don’t you?
Do you want to?
Oh…

Sing your life
Walk right up to the microphone
And name
All the things you love
All the things that you loathe

Morrissey, “Sing Your Life”

I wouldn’t have been able to follow Morrissey’s advice during my life’s “Side A.” But the older I get, the easier it is.

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“Let It Out” by Switchfoot
Album: Fading West (2013)

I absolutely love this song! It just makes me happy.

I’m not the only one who feels this way. Switchfoot Bassist Tim Foreman commented on the Spotify album commentary: “This song is a party. It’s just… you can’t listen to it and not smile. I can’t. It reminds me of summertime.”

Exactly!

I mean, what’s not to love about these lyrics? They, too, encourage us to be bold:

Keep, keep, keep
Keep pushing this higher, oh
I’ve been living uptight
(Take it easy right now)

Like a moth to the fire, oh
Like I’m losing this fight
(Take it easy right now)

From the day we’re born
We are scarred and torn
We’ve been scared to sing out loud
But we don’t care no more
‘Cause we know life is short
We don’t care who hears us now
Breathe it in and let it out…

Switchfoot, “Let It Out”

If you like the lyrics, wait ‘til you hear the music!

I’m pretty sure I’ll never get tired of this song … summertime, wintertime … never.

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“Dance, Sing, Laugh, Love” by Jewel
Album: Freewheelin’ Woman (2022)

I first became acquainted with Jewel’s music probably about the same time most of America did. Back in the early-to-mid-nineties, her songs “Who Will Save Your Soul,” “You Were Meant for Me,” and “Foolish Games” were all over the airwaves, and I’m confident I heard those tunes more than once while on a yellow dog (aka a school bus) traveling to and from *somewhere* with one of the McGregor bands back in my band directing days. The aforementioned songs were all included on her debut album, Pieces of You, which I’ll admit I could take or leave at the time. It has since grown on me, though, and the duet of “Foolish Games” she recorded with my girl crush Kelly Clarkson for her Greatest Hits album gets the chef’s kiss from me.

Oh, the harmony … Gives me goosies!

One of my favorite Jewel songs — “Hands” — was featured on her second album, Spirit. And although it probably wasn’t one of her more famous albums, I love Jewel’s country stylings on her album Sweet and Wild — especially the deluxe version, which includes acoustic versions of all the tracks. (For what it’s worth, my favorite song on that album is the acoustic version of “What You Are.” I’m not sure why, but that song reminds me of my goddaughter Hannah … so much so that I used my laser to make her some wall decor that includes the lyrics.)

Jewel firmly established her place on my personal soundtrack back in 2012, when my bestie and I traveled to Denver, Colorado, to cheer on our beloved Baylor University Lady Bears basketball team as they competed in the NCAA Women’s Final Four. (They won the National Championship, by the way! Sic ‘em, Bears!) In between games at the Final Four, the NCAA hosts “Tourney Town,” a festival that features special appearances, games, giveaways, historical and competing team displays, spirit band competitions, food, merch, and more. That year, Jewel gave an acoustic concert at Tourney Town, and I’ve followed her ever since.

Jewel has continued to perform and record, and she even won the sixth season of the reality competition series The Masked Singer! In 2022, she released Freewheelin’ Woman, which features my next selection, “Dance, Sing, Laugh, Love.”

To me, the sentiment of “Dance, Sing, Laugh, Love” is similar to that of “Let It Out”:

We live in a house of mirrors
Reflections don’t make it clearer
Do we wait? Meditate? Or fade away?

Everyone’s so serious, and on the run
We should be delirious, and having fun
Slow down, look around, you wear the crown

Time flies in a second
Close your eyes, you’re gonna miss it
Oh I found the secret
All we gotta do yeah, all we gotta do is

Dance, sing, laugh, love
You want it, you want it
Dance, sing, laugh, love
You got it, you got it

Dance, sing, laugh, love
You want it? You got it
Life should make you feel good
Life should make you feel good

Jewel, “Dance, Sing, Laugh, Love”

In case you missed it, I really love Jewel’s music. 🙂

And if you’re starting to sense that there may be a theme among the songs on my B-Side, you’re probably right. This is Robin, reminding herself to lighten up! 

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This is My Throwback Song
“Celebrate [feat. AJR]” by Ingrid Michaelson

To continue the trend, here’s another song that just makes me smile. 

I wanted to make the video for ‘Celebrate’ something that would make people smile. There’s such a heaviness to the world and I just wanted to put some lightness into it.

Ingrid Michaelson

We all have them:

This is my throwback song
It’s just like the ones (just like the ones)
The ones that we used to know
This is the music that makes me better
This is the feeling that turns me on
Oh everybody’s got that window down summer time turn it up sing-along

Ingrid Michaelson, “Celebrate”

I bet it will make you smile, too.

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“You Get What You Give” by New Radicals
Album: Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed, Too (1998)

If you were to look up the definition of “One Hit Wonder” on www.merriam-webster.com, you shouldn’t be surprised if you find New Radicals as an example. You won’t actually find them there (yes, I checked), but Rolling Stone magazine calls them “one of the purest examples of a one-hit wonder in rock history.” “You Get What You Give” was their one and only hit, and it was released on their one and only album; in fact, the group disbanded before they released their second single. 

Despite the band’s rather limited shelf life, the tune was ubiquitous in 1999. It was used in movies, on TV shows, and as the theme for radio talk shows. On my own personal soundtrack, it was a constant companion as I traveled across Texas and New Mexico, visiting teachers and training users of the educational software my company at the time produced and supported. This was before the days of the podcast, so to keep myself alert while driving, I developed a habit of listening to various talk radio stations, several of which aired episodes of the syndicated Dr. Dean Edell show. ”You Get What You Give” was the theme song of Dr. Dean’s show and of several other talk hosts.

Oh, and it was also on my yardwork playlist. (And is still on my Favorites playlist today!)

My favorite review of the song appears on Stereogum.com:

It’s a driving, piano-powered anthem that pulled off the rare feat of sounding both unabashedly optimistic and bitterly cynical — a plaintive plea for sanity and humanity in a hyper-consumerist culture that treats celebrities like deities and encourages teens to rack up five-figure credit-card debts before they’re out of college. It was also the rare non-gangsta-rap track to name names and make beef, calling out the era’s foremost hipsters (Beck), innocuous pop pin-ups (Hanson), and self-obsessed rock stars (Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson) as apolitical pawns propping up a soulless music-industry machine. In the final line, Alexander threatens to “kick their asses,” effectively making “You Get What You Give” a UFC pay-per-view event in pop-song form.

Stereogum

Since the song itself does some name-dropping, I will, too. I always felt like “You Get What You Give” reminded me of another song, but I couldn’t ever quite place it. As I compiled this soundtrack, it finally hit me … it almost seems like a more driving and upbeat version of Todd Rundgren’s “Hello, It’s Me,” which has been newly fresh on my mind with the airing of HBO Max’s And Just Like That in late 2021 and 2022.

The Stereogum review I quoted before went on to call “You Get What You Give” a “sleek throwback dad-rock jam mobilizing kids to riot” Songfacts® calls it “an anthem for young dreamers ready to take on the world with music on their side.”

You’ve got the music in you
Don’t let go
You’ve got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don’t give up
You’ve got a reason to live
Can’t forget
We only get what we give

New Radicals, “You Get What You Give”

Whatever you want to call it, it brings out the music in me.

When It’s Like Every Single Line Was Written Just For You

“A Song Can’t Fix Everything (feat. Paul Cauthen)” by Sunny Sweeney
Album: Married Alone (2022)

You may never have heard of Sunny Sweeney; I hadn’t either until just recently. Remember how I told you Karen Carpenter was a master of the melancholy? Sunny gives Karen a run for her money with this song, which Sunny’s website says is “recounting the many ways that music may be able to transport us to the past but can never fix it.”

That song can’t bring my mother back to life
But for three minutes it’s like she’s sitting in the livin’ room
That song can’t bring me back to high school
But I can feel the bleachers underneath the small town moon

That song can’t get me to Amarillo
Before his flight takes off so I can change his mind
That song can’t make him love me
Stop him from leaving us behind

I know a song can’t fix everything
But tonight, sitting here with this drink
I’m gonna play it over and over, till all the tears run dry
Gonna give it one hell of a try

Sunny Sweeney, “A Song Can’t Fix Everything”

I could compose another double-sided soundtrack of songs that affect me this way.

I’m willing to bet you could, too.

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“What a Song Can Do” by Lady A
Album: What a Song Can Do (2021)

I surprised myself by featuring Lady A twice on my first soundtrack. (Check out Side A of this soundtrack for another of their songs, “And the Radio Played.”) I love their harmonies, and they seem to concur with me regarding the role of our own personal soundtracks, so I’ve gotta like that.

Sunny Sweeney told us a song can’t fix everything, but Lady A reminds us of what one can do:

Makes you wanna take a Sunday drive
Throws you right back to a different time
Puts your lighter up
Singing loud and out of tune

It puts a little sound in an empty space
And for a little while, lets you drift away
It’s simple, but it’s true
Yeah, it’s crazy what a song can do

It can make you dance and make you cry
Make you wanna give it one more try
Start a band and kiss that girl
And break some rules

It’ll make you give your heart and get it back
Change your mind just like that
When it’s like every single line was written just for you
Ain’t it crazy what a song can do?

Makes you make a call at 4 a.m.
Makеs you say you want him all over again
It’s like you knew it all along
Ain’t it crazy that a song

Can makе you dance and make you cry
Make you wanna give it one more try
Start a band and kiss that girl
And break some rules

It’ll make you give your heart and get it back
Change your mind just like that
When it’s like every single line was written just for you
Ain’t it crazy what a song can do?
Woah, crazy what a song can do

Shake the ground, steal your breath
Feel that pounding in your chest
Bring you to your knees right there in that old church pew
Ooh, make you give your heart and get it back
Change your mind just like that

And most of all it’s what brought me here to you
Ain’t it crazy what a song (crazy what a song)
Crazy what a song can do?

Lady A, “What a Song Can Do”

Need I say more? 

Well, maybe one more thing. It’s what brought me here to you.

Ain’t that crazy?

You Never Let Me Give Up

As we near the end of the B-Side, I feel some thanks are in order. I’ve already told you of my struggles with overthinking and analysis paralysis, along with my blog ideas that haven’t materialized … yet. I’ve tossed the idea of publishing blogs into casual conversations with many people, who always politely listened and perhaps even threw in an “Oh, that sounds cool” comment.

I’ve read several articles about the difficulties of making friends after college … especially once people get married and have families. I recently read a very relatable (to me, at least) article about the challenges of making friends in midlife. I’m 30+ years after college, and I’m still waiting to get married, and I’m actually probably beyond what many consider to be midlife. But fortunately, I’ve been blessed to have a cohort — or maybe even multiple cohorts — of friends and confidants who’ve always supported me and encouraged me, even when my ideas didn’t make the most sense to them. My poor sister has listened to me prattle on incessantly about my ideas, my worries,  and the daily grind of life as we meet for weekly lunches at Jason’s Deli … a relatively new tradition for us but one that I’ve come to cherish.

My Camp Gladiator teammates — a group I’ve only known for a couple of years — continue to cheer me on and keep me accountable as I work to meet health and fitness goals, even as some of them have moved on to bigger and better things in their own lives. 

One of my biggest cheerleaders is a friend I’ve only met in person a handful of times, but through texting, social media, and an occasional phone call, she has encouraged me virtually to be bold and to live my best life … even when I didn’t know how to do it.

Another cheerleader of mine is a friend I used to work with. She left the company long before I did, but we, too, have continued to text, share memes and funny videos with each other, and even enjoy an occasional phone call.

My friends I’ve made through music and the band directing world are almost too many to name … I’d try to, but I fear I’d inadvertently omit someone. I have a former student who has become one of my dearest friends. We don’t see each other much, but we can’t stop talking when we do! And my friendship with him has helped me make connections with even more people in the band world.

I’ve met some amazing people of all ages and from all walks of life through my church. One of those friends from the band world has become a dear friend in life and is now a church friend, too… and I’m almost old enough to be her mother! Another cherished friend from church plays music with me and helps me to see people, life, and Christ differently than I would if left to my own devices. 

My life is more interesting, more rich, and more complete because all of these people are in it. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to them all.

Yet even with all these different groups of friends, I’ve always tended to have one friend who was perhaps just a little closer than the others … a “bestie” or a “BFF,” if you will. That’s true now, too. We first met at my sister’s wedding; she worked with my sister at the educational software company where I spent almost 20 years of my career. She was my first trainer there when I joined the company, so we spent a lot of time together as I onboarded. I had an abundance of questions (If you know me, this is not news to you!) when I began that job. In fact, I told my mentor at my current job that I was in my bestie’s office asking questions so much when I joined that company that she had no choice but to become my friend!

But she did have a choice. And I’m thankful she made it! We were roommates for a little while as she dated the man she’d eventually marry. I don’t think she experienced it, but I had a lot of my work friends basically tell me we wouldn’t stay friends once she married … not in the same way, at least; too many things would change when she started a family.

But you know what? We did stay friends. 

Things changed, for sure. But her daughters are my goddaughters now, and her family and her husband’s family have practically adopted me as one of their own. We go on vacations together. We have season tickets together for our beloved Baylor Bears football and basketball games. We celebrate holidays, special occasions, and milestones together.

Probably not what those naysayers were expecting, huh?

Much like life, it hasn’t been all parties and celebrations. Our relationship has had its share of challenges, too. We’ve lamented that our lives usually aren’t on the same page at the same time. She was having children when I was learning I wouldn’t have children (although considering that I’m still waiting for my Prince Charming some 20+ years later, that’s become a non-issue!). She transitioned out of the company where we worked together several years before I did. Then she became an English teacher, and anyone who actually knows a teacher knows where most of her attention is focused.

All of that to say that, like anyone in any relationship, we’ve had times that have been fun and easy, and we’ve had times that have been distant and difficult. Even right now, we’re going through what I consider to be one of the most challenging times in our relationship.

(Don’t worry, I’m not telling you anything she and I haven’t discussed ad infinitum!)

Currently, because of life’s demands, it sometimes seems that our friendship is limited to 10-minute phone calls on our way to or from work or some other commitment … with an occasional meal or event mixed in. I don’t love it, but at the same time, I know it won’t stay this way forever; nothing ever does.

To borrow a line from Talking Heads, you may ask yourself, “What keeps this friendship going, especially when other relationships and the demands of life pre-empt opportunities to spend time together?”

Choices.

She likes to say that love is a verb, You don’t always feel it, but you do it. We’ve had disagreements and arguments. But I’m with her … you don’t end a friendship just because you’re angry with someone. So we tough it out.

It’s not always easy. She’s very “big picture”; I often get bogged down in details. Sometimes, we drive each other crazy, and sometimes, there’s amazing synergy. When there’s a challenge, she’ll admit that she tends to retreat, whereas I want to solve things immediately. But despite our differences, she chooses to learn about my likes, my interests, and how I think through the things that I do. And like me, she asks a lot of questions. 

She makes choices to do what seem like little things and choices to do big things, too.

This is the friend who, when she knew I was having trouble getting medical answers for some unexpected complications following a surgery, teamed up with my sister to make a doctor’s appointment for me. And that doctor’s appointment probably saved my life, as it led to the diagnosis of a pulmonary embolism. 

This is the friend who held my hand through endless procedures for what I’ll simply call “female issues.” She’s the friend who came by to help me out following those procedures. (She even changed cat litter boxes, so that should say a lot right there.) 

This is the friend who, for the last few months of my mother’s life, came to sit with her on alternating Sundays so I wouldn’t have to miss church every week.

This is the friend who, whether she knew it or not, encouraged me to press “Publish” on this blog.

She’s my touchstone. So we might not spend tons of time together, and our lives might not always be on the same page. But I guess you could say our hearts are.

Same as it ever was. 

As I thought about all these diverse and amazing friendships I have — my sister, my church friends, my cheerleaders, my teammates, my goddaughters, my bestie — I wanted to select a song about friendship that truly expresses my gratitude without being cheesy or overly sentimental as so many songs about friendship are.

I’ve found what I think is the perfect one.

“Army” by Ellie Goulding
Album: Delirium (Deluxe) (2015)

A few hours before Goulding released “Army,” she posted an explanatory note on Instagram. That post has since been deleted, but you can find it in the description that accompanies her official YouTube video for the song:

I realised that I had focused a lot of writing on past relationships and it hit me I had never written about my best friend. The person I met in college over ten years ago. The person who was at my very first gig. The person who has seen me at my lowest and the first person I call in muffled sobs when something bad happens. We’ve been deliriously happy together, deliriously tired and deliriously sad together. I wanted to show our friendship for what it really is- honest, real, electric. I think about the times we drink together until neither of us can stand. The laughing at our own ridiculousness and foolishness. Comparing our trials and errors; overthinking our break ups and new loves, remembering everything we’ve been through to get to this point and being so proud of it. Two girls from Hereford trying our best in the City. We open our hearts up and take risks, but together we are more powerful than ever. We are challenged every day but we see it through and sometimes it feels like we can conquer anything. 

When I’m with you, I’m standing with an army.

Ellie Goulding

If you look at the lyrics of “Army,” there are a lot of things that don’t apply to our friendship. I’ll go ahead and prepare you, the lyrics include an F-bomb, as does the original recording on Spotify (I included a version in the soundtrack that has it “blurred” out) and the official YouTube video.:

I know that I’ve been messed up
You never let me give up
All the nights and the fights
And the blood and the breakups

I’ve had plenty of moments where I’ve been mentally or emotionally “messed up.” We haven’t experienced too many fights — not physical ones, anyway. Nor have we dealt with blood or breakups.

You’re always there to call up
I’m a pain, I’m a child, I’m afraid
But yeah, you understand
Yeah, like no one can
I know that we don’t look like much
But no one f***s it up like us

I’ve been a pain. I’ve behaved like a child. I’ve been afraid. I wouldn’t say we’ve effed up too much together, but I will agree that to some, we do appear to be friends who don’t have that much in common.

Sixteen and you never even judged me
Matter of fact, always thought you were too cool for me
Sitting there in the caravan
All the nights we’ve been drunk on the floor

But yeah, you understand
Yeah, like no one can
We both know what they say about us
But they don’t stand a chance because…

We didn’t know each other when we were 16 — although we did discover that we attended the same college at the same time. And we’ve never been drunk on the floor together. If she judged me, she didn’t let it show .. too often(!). And she can work a crowd like a pro when she needs to, so there have been numerous times I thought she was too cool for me.

But despite our differences, she often understands like no one can. I’ve already told you about some of the choices she’s made for me, so when Ellie sings the next lines, I can relate:

Dark times, you can always find the bright side
I’m amazed by the things that you would sacrifice
Just to be there for me
How you cringe when you sing out of tune

But yeah, it’s everything
So don’t change a thing
We both know what they say about us
But they don’t stand a chance because

She would say she sings out of tune! But my friend, I don’t want you to change a thing because

When I’m with you
I’m standing with an army

Yes.

I love this acoustic performance … and it doesn’t include an F-bomb, either:

I’m tearing up as I listen to this while typing. (My goddaughters — who take great delight in and are usually successful at making me cry — would love it.)

If you’ve read this far, you’re a part of my army, too.

This is My Story

“The Story” by Dolly Parton
Album: Cover Stories: Brandi Carlile Celebrates 10 Years of the Story An Album to Benefit War Child (2017)

One of my favorite songs on the yardwork playlist I told you about is Brandi Carlile’s “The Story.” I absolutely Love. That. Song. It has been one of my favorites for years and years. I love Brandi’s sound, and I love her voice. And I love the lyrics to “The Story.” 

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am

But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true, I was made for you

Brandi Carlile, “The Story”

I’ve already told you a lot of stories of where I’ve been and how I got to where I am. And I’m pretty sure there are more to come. But I do agree that your stories don’t mean anything when you’ve got no one to tell them to. 

So maybe I wasn’t made for you, but perhaps as part of my army, you were made for me.

I thought about including Brandi Carlile’s version of the song here. It was her breakout hit, and as I write this, it has over 123 million plays on Spotify. But I came across Dolly’s version and just had to include it. 

[If you’re interested in Brandi’s version, don’t worry; I mentioned that I’d post a bonus tracks playlist composed of all the extra songs I’ve mentioned in these first three posts, and it will be there!]

In 2017, Brandi Carlile released Cover Stories, a charity tribute album in which various artists like Adele, Indigo Girls, Kris Kristofferson, and even Pearl Jam covered songs from the original album, The Story. 

I loved reading this People Magazine story about how Brandi asked Dolly to record the song:

When folk rocker Brandi Carlile decided to record a cover of her groundbreaking 2007 album The Story, she set her sights on just one voice to sing the title track: her idol Dolly Parton.

But could the 71-year-old country icon still hit the high notes on this mountain range of a song?

Carlile, 35, wasn’t sure, so in her handwritten request, she suggested Parton could drop the song a key.

It was, Carlile tells PEOPLE, “about the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever put down in writing.”

Parton enthusiastically accepted the invitation to record. After all, the album Cover Stories – released Friday — benefits a good cause: War Child, an international nonprofit that aids refugee children. But in her own handwritten response, Parton told Carlile, “Honey, do me a favor. Don’t drop the key. I think I can handle it.”

Once Carlile heard the finished version, she realized she’d been one-upped. “Every gratuitous and show-offy note that I hit in that song,” Carlile reports, “Dolly hits it initially and then takes it higher. She just completely takes me to school.”

Dolly could take anyone to school. I hope you enjoy her version of one of my favorite songs as much as I do.

This is My Song

We’ve come to the final song on Soundtrack #1. You’ve read my thoughts about music, and you’ve learned bits and pieces about my life. Even though you haven’t met them, you know something about some of my friends. There will be more glimpses to come; I’ve already got a long list of posts in the works. As we’ve seen, life competes with my goal of posting weekly, but I’ll continue to try.

As I close this soundtrack, I leave you with a song that simply represents the most important part of my story.

“Blessed Assurance” by Shane & Shane
Album: The Worship Initiative, Vol. 19 (2020)

I didn’t write it, but this is my song.

Amen and Amen.

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Here’s the complete Spotify playlist.

Open in Spotify