Put Your Records On
Welcome to the Songbird Soundtrack

Here I am, “putting my records on,” as the song says.

But why?

Why a Soundtrack?

Like many of my stories, this is not a short one. (Yes, I’m painfully self-aware about how I can ramble when talking about something I care about or to someone I care about!) In fact, you could probably say this story has been a lifetime in the making … it’s the soundtrack to my life, if you will. And much like life, there were a lot of twists on turns on the way to publishing this first post.

I don’t even remember when or where I read it, but some time ago, I came across this quote by author Annie Proulx:

You know, one of the tragedies of real life is that there is no background music.

Annie Proulx

I’ll admit that I don’t know the context of the quote, and I didn’t spend much time searching for it. But I like to think that Ms. Proulx was speaking about the lack of a musical score accompanying all of our actions … triumphant allegro anthems when we’re successful or happy, melancholy motifs when we’re disappointed or sad, irresolute interludes when we’re anxious or scared … you get the idea.

But you know what? I believe our lives do have background music. Perhaps it doesn’t underscore our every action like in the movies, but it’s there. It comes from our own personal backgrounds … our memories, and, more importantly, how they made us feel. Our background music evokes emotions of all kinds. It illustrates our attitudes. It represents our beliefs. It inspires us. It motivates us. It makes us feel like we’re not alone. It offers us peace and comfort.

A myriad of memories and emotions came into play as I began thinking about creating this blog. Feelings I had to face. Attitudes I had to deal with. Beliefs I questioned … and beliefs I remembered and even reinforced. Things that inspired me and things that motivated me. 

Grief. Loneliness. Peace. Comfort.

I’m sure I’ll get into everything over time. The truth is, I’ve been wanting to start a blog for over a year now … but not this one. I’ve even been working through a course that trains aspiring bloggers how to create a blog. I’ve had two different topics in mind that I’ve studied and planned for. I’ve outlined potential topics and posts for each. I’ve done research. I’ve accumulated photos. I’ve even purchased domain names and set up hosting for them. 

But I haven’t published a single post for either yet.

There are reasons for that … some are logical; others, not so much. Knowing me, I’ll tell you about them eventually, too. But suffice it to say that this blog, I didn’t even plan to write.

I’m certain I’ll tell you about the people who — either knowingly or unknowingly — influenced my decision to begin this blog first instead of the others. Some of those people are family, some are friends, and some are even former students or colleagues. Some of them, I’m still very close to; others, I don’t see or talk to much at all anymore. In some cases, I haven’t spoken with them in years. With some, our relationship has moved to a new season and is different from how it used to be. I know I’ll introduce them to you as I write various posts, but for now, here’s a bit of backstory….

Why a Songbird?

Short version: My name is Robin. A robin is a songbird.

Overthinker (more on that later) version: I am a musician. I began playing the saxophone when I was in the seventh grade. I loved it! I played in all my high school bands — marching band, wind ensemble, and jazz band. I played solos and in ensembles. I lived and breathed band, and I decided to major in music education. I taught band for many years. I stopped teaching band for a while, but I continued to play, and I even taught private lessons. I taught band again, and I stopped teaching band again. But I kept playing. I followed my niece and my goddaughters as they participated in band. I led the worship team at my church. I taught private lessons again. I taught band again, and I stopped again. I started singing with my church worship teams, and I kept playing my saxophone. Music has always been a part of my life in some form or fashion.

During my final foray into teaching band, I was living with my mother. Mother had lived with multiple sclerosis since I was in college, but in recent years, she had lost my stepfather, and she had begun to experience various medical issues and physical setbacks, so our family agreed that it would be good to have someone at home with her. Not having a family of my own, I was the logical choice. So I sold my house and moved in with her. During my third year with her, I took a job teaching band again, but her health quickly declined over the course of that school year, so when the year ended, I resigned and stayed home to help her.

Although I wasn’t teaching, I still needed to work. After applying for what seemed like hundreds of jobs and interviewing for a few, it became pretty clear that I needed to find work to do that would allow me a flexible schedule. So I formed my own little single-member company called The Songbird Group. I used Songbird for the short reason above. Well, that, and because I lacked the self-confidence to use my regular name! I used “Group” in the company name because 1) I was doing a  group of few different things: a little retail, some graphic design, some desktop publishing, and even some laser cutting and engraving; and 2) I lacked the self-confidence to let people know I was doing this alone. 

(Yes, there may be a recurring theme in my life. I’m sure I’ll tell you more about that, too.)

I started The Songbird Group in August of 2017, but shortly thereafter, we had to place Mother in hospice care, and she passed away on Christmas Day of that same year. I don’t say that to elicit sympathy; so many people have commented about how hard it must have been to lose my mother on Christmas Day. I contend that it’s hard to lose your mother on any day, regardless of your relationship with her; so much of your personal soundtrack is associated with your parents … the good stuff and the not-as-good stuff. But my sister Lesley and I agreed that losing our mother on Christmas Day was rather appropriate. Our mother absolutely loved Christmas! When she was able physically, Mother would decorate almost every room in the house for Christmas. In fact, when we held her estate sale, we had a whole room that contained nothing but Christmas decorations!

My personal soundtrack includes many Christmas-related memories, too. I suppose it’s probably the same for most people. I have memories of gifts I received when I was a child, and a stash of family photos reminds me of other Christmases. When I was in high school, we became part of a blended family, and our family was blended when four kids were all teens or approaching their teens. That in itself was a challenge, with four teenagers suddenly placed together during a time they were involved in their own interests and activities …. and striving to create their own identities and independence. But I have to give it to my mother for wanting all of the kids to feel like we were all part of one family. She used to say, “There are no steps [as in stepchildren] in this family!” And because the Christmas holidays were some of the rare instances that we were all together in the same place at the same time, she made a big deal of our Christmas gatherings.

Lesley and I also joked that it would be just like Mother to go on Christmas Day … to ensure that we never forgot her!

I realize that this discussion of Christmas may seem like an unrelated aside, but please keep reading…..

Why the Songbird Soundtrack?

I mentioned before that I never intended to write this blog. 

So what changed?

Honestly, it was a surprise. When I first considered it, my life was in a weird place. After Mother passed away, I struggled to find a job that fit my skills and interests, so I was working in a job for which I used to say I was “underemployed.” I worked for a boss who was not as skilled at communicating as some, so long story short, I was frustrated. I had continued to try to build my business on the side, but I hadn’t succeeded enough not to need a “day job.” Many people my age are thinking about retirement … not starting over. I felt like a failure.

Despite my employment and business struggles, I had actually found something I enjoyed and seemed to be pretty good at: working out. For the first time in my life, I developed a regular workout routine doing Camp Gladiator workouts. And as a result of that, I developed an unexpected but wonderful friendship with my trainer Jayme. Her constant encouragement and the community I built with the friends I made in group workouts kept me sane!

Jayme and I had a lot in common at the time. Not only did we see each other for workouts pretty much daily, but both of us also had to work day jobs we didn’t particularly love while we worked on our own goals. We listened to each other when we needed to vent about our struggles, we helped each other and cheered each other on as we job-hunted, and we even prayed for each other. And it wasn’t for naught … we both found new jobs — almost within a week of each other! It was truly amazing.

But much to my chagrin, all the changes were surprisingly difficult … well, for me, at least. With new jobs, our schedules obviously changed, so I couldn’t work out with Jayme and our crew anymore. I was completely overwhelmed by all I had to learn in my new position. That was hard enough … but it felt like suddenly, everything that had been familiar was different. And uncomfortable. And stressful.

Your girl was struggling.

Eventually, it did get better. After a few weeks, my workout group decided we actually could and would work out together, even if Jayme couldn’t lead us. And Jayme continues to communicate with us. We even meet for a meal or a cup of coffee from time to time. In fact, whether or not Jayme knows it, conversations during the times we’ve gotten together were influential in my decision to begin the Songbird Soundtrack.

During one of the times we met for coffee, I shared with Jayme some of the struggles I was having with all the “new” in my life. Before our crew resumed our workouts together, I had started working out with a new trainer and new people. The people were great, but I felt as awkward, self-conscious, and “unconfident” as ever. I had just started a new job … same feelings. I had a new routine, a new schedule, new people to interact with, and new things to learn … all at once. I was not a happy camper! And as I’m prone to doing, I was overthinking everything.

During that conversation, Jayme asked me if I had ever journaled, and I remember telling her that while I love the idea of journaling, I’ve never been able to remain consistent at journaling. That was pretty much all that was said about it during that conversation, and we parted ways … with me still not journaling.

But then Jayme started something. Although she wasn’t leading our workouts anymore, she started emailing our group every weekday. Her daily messages included motivational quotes, fitness moves we could do on our own, and even nutrition tips. Those messages continue today, and everyone in our group talks about how much we enjoy receiving them. 

I mentioned that a lot of things worked together to make the Songbird Soundtrack happen. Many of these things occurred just before the holiday season, so there we were, right back before Christmas in 2022. I don’t even remember how it happened or exactly where I shared it first, but I ended up sharing a Christmas song on social media. This in itself was kind of a big deal for me because for a few years before, I hadn’t been listening to much music during Advent … or even that much music at all, for that matter. I usually listened to books or podcasts or talk shows on Sirius XM. But that year was different. I couldn’t get enough Christmas music!

Inspired by Jayme’s daily emails and knowing that she, too, loves music (I still say she had the best workout playlists of all the workouts I’ve attended!), I decided to email her a “Christmas Song of the Day” during Advent. I thought, “Why not? I can do anything for a month!” And I did it … sometimes, even more than one song a day, complete with Spotify or YouTube links and sometimes my favorite lyrics. 

Jayme may or may not have listened to the songs I sent … I didn’t ask, and I don’t even need to know. The point was that I achieved a goal, something that had become important to me after listening to James Clear’s Atomic Habits that fall. And better than that, I was drawn back to music, and because it was Advent, even closer to Christ. I shared Spotify code images on Instagram for the songs I was listening to, and although I wasn’t seeking new followers, several users followed me for at least a while to see what songs I’d post. My friends would send messages, too. The positive responses overwhelmed me!

It had become my musical form of journaling.

The songs I listened to and shared helped me process my feelings. They calmed me down. They relieved stress. They brought back great memories … and helped me work through some not-so-great memories. Sharing them with people was cathartic. And sharing my personal mixtape — the story of my life — on social media helped keep me accountable, even if it was just to myself.

Author Rob Sheffield wrote about such a process in his book Love is a Mix Tape:

The times you lived through, the people you shared those times with — nothing brings it all to life like an old mix tape. It does a better job of storing up memories than actual brain tissue can do. Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they can add up to the story of a life.

Rob Sheffield, Love is a Mix Tape

Being a Generation Xer, I know all about mix tapes. I still have one I created in 1985! (I’m pretty sure that will come up in a future post, too.) In the age of streaming music, our mix tapes have become playlists. And I am quite the collector of playlists. Even before I even thought about the Songbird Soundtrack, I created a folder of Spotify playlists called The Songbird Mixtapes.

I started to think, “What if I just posted my mix tapes, née playlists, on a blog?” But I quickly talked myself out of it. As an overthinker is wont to do, I came up with all kinds of reasons I should not create a blog sharing my personal soundtrack.

Hello, Jon Acuff.

But then I met Jon Acuff. Well, not really … or not in person, at least.

I first became familiar with Jon Acuff — or perhaps I should say Jon Acuff’s work — when I learned about his book Stuff Christians Like. I “met” him again after reading Atomic Habits and becoming fascinated with goals and ways to achieve them. My Camp Gladiator experience taught me that despite not really giving goal-setting serious attention for most of my 50-some-odd years, I really do love habits, routines, and goals. Who knew?

After struggling to launch either of my original blog ideas, I read Jon’s book, Start. The rest of the title tells us to “Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, and Do Work that Matters.” In a nutshell, Jon provides actionable steps to accomplishing our goals. But before we can complete any of those steps,  Jon reminds us that we have to START. “The starting line is the only line you completely control,” he wrote. 

You might think, “Ah, that’s what finally got Robin started!”

I wish that were true. But here we are, about three months after a month of posting Christmas songs on Instagram. And still no blog.

Until today.

It’s actually another book of Jon Acuff’s that finally inspired me to begin this blog. That book is Soundtracks. Although there are several references to music in Soundtracks, it’s not about music. No, the topic of that book is something I’m way more skilled in than music: overthinking. In fact, the subtitle of the book is The Surprising Solution to Overthinking.

[A quick aside: A few paragraphs ago, I told you about my trainer Jayme. To give you an idea of my overthinking prowess, I will simply share a meme Jayme once texted me:

It made me laugh so much that I kept it.

See why I was interested in Jon’s book?

In the introduction to Soundtracks, Jon wrote:

You can control your thoughts. You can turn overthinking into action. You can use all that reclaimed time, creativity, and productivity to create the life you want. And it starts with recognizing your thoughts for what they really are: a personal soundtrack for your life.

Jon Acuff, The Surprising Solution to Overthinking

Jon proceeded to reflect on specific moments he recalled when he heard certain songs from his youth. He also wrote about a New York Times study and the related article, “The Songs That Bind,” in which economist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz used Spotify data to analyze how often men and women of each particular age listened to various songs. The data enabled him to determine that most men formed their adult musical tastes when they were between the ages of 13 and 16. Women’s favorite songs came out when they were 11 to 14. Stephens-Davidowitz’s research shows that most people “predictably stick with the music that captured us in the earliest phase of our adolescence.”

Jon Acuff applied the same principle to one’s thoughts:

The playlist you unknowingly curate during your life makes for an interesting dinner party conversation, but music is only one small part of a much bigger story. Your thoughts are the internal soundtracks you listen to even more than your favorite song.

Over the years, you’ve built a soundtrack about your career. You have a soundtrack for all your relationships. You have a soundtrack you believe about your hopes, dreams, goals, and every other aspect of your life.

If you listen to any thought long enough, it becomes a part of your personal playlist.

Jon went on to say:

If the soundtracks you listen to are positive, your thoughts can be your best friend, propelling you on new adventures with creativity and hope. If your day is spent overthinking broken soundtracks, your thoughts can be your worst foe, holding you back from ever taking action on all the things you want in life.

Before I even read Soundtracks, the thought of calling my song posts my soundtrack had occurred to me. To me, Jon’s words were confirmation. It’s time.

So what’s next?

What’s the Frequency, Kenneth? (Or, “How is this Going to Work?”)

I decided it was finally time to start.

The knowledge I gleaned from Atomic Habits and Jon Acuff’s musings taught me that I need to start with simple, attainable steps. So here we go. Pardon my R.E.M. reference and my frequency pun, but for now, I believe I’d like to try to write one post per week. 

[Another interesting aside: According to the Songfacts® website, R.E.M. lead singer Michael Stipe calls “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?” a criticism of the media, “who overanalyze things they don’t understand.” I’m calling that further confirmation that this overanalyzer made the right decision!]

In Soundtracks, Jon Acuff offers what he calls “turn-down techniques.” Turn-down techniques are things we can do when our old negative soundtracks get too loud. One of those techniques is to create a list. Jon asserts that “a list is the fastest way to bring clarity to chaos.” I think he’s right. When I compiled my list of Christmas songs, I was amazed at the focus and peace that resulted. Some days I simply posted songs I liked. Some days, I posted collections of songs with a similar theme. It even became a game with a couple of my friends to try and figure out the theme of my posts each day. I loved it.

So there you have it. I’ll create lists … playlists. I love the idea of creating themed collections. I’ve already jotted down ideas for several playlists. I love trivia, too, so I can see that being a factor in determining my playlist themes. I’m new at this, so I have a lot to learn, but I have learned how to embed recordings and videos of the songs into each post. I hope to link to recordings, merch, or interesting collectibles you can purchase if you like an artist I feature or a song I post.

I didn’t include a complete playlist in this introductory post, but I did mention two songs, so this will give you a taste of what’s to come.

My opening sentence refers to Corinne Bailey Ray’s 2006 Grammy-nominated single, “Put Your Records On.”

If you love vinyl like I do, you can get the album on Amazon.com.

I also mentioned the lead single from the R.E.M. album Monster, “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?” 

If you’d prefer to listen in Spotify, here’s a short playlist that includes both songs:

And so it begins…

Today is April 1, 2023. April Fool’s Day. But I don’t consider the Soundtrack a fool’s errand; I’m excited about it. And I can’t wait to share more.

I hope you’ll enjoy the music with me.